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Chris the Pimp
Chris is one of the First Five Bishops recruited by Masked Bastard. He is the Church financial adviser and the resident pimp of dollars and Lady Bishops. Chris is the big wheel that bankrolls the Church's operations. Chris is a lover, not a fighter. But he’s no coward. Always cool and calm, he is ready to turn any ugly situation into a victory for himself and his fellow Bishops. Chris follows a strict code of honor: if he, his fellow Bishops and the Church don’t benefit from something, he doesn’t push for it. Chris is the second smartest Bishop in the Church, the other two being Crazy Brown and Rwanda. __TOC__ Early Life Much of Chris' childhood remains unknown. According to public records, he was a single child raised by wealthy parents in Manhattan. He finished high school when he was 14 and got his Bachelor's degree in Business when he was 18. Many would say that he grew up privileged, but Chris rarely asked his rich parents for anything. He wanted to make it on his own. From Wall Street To Wiling Out Chris began his professional career on Wall Street as a stock trader. He was a beast on the floor and company he traded for, Bright Star USA, valued his abilities at the stock exchange. When Bright Star was bought by a rival company, Chris found himself out of work and overqualified. Fearing he'd have to give up his lavish lifestyle (or worse, move back in with his parents), Chris got in touch with a colleague who ran a brokerage about working as an accountant for a independent film company. Adult film producer named Neil David hired Chris on the spot. The Lady of His Life One night Chris was working late when one of the female performers entered his office to change, thinking it was the restroom. The performer was named " Nurse Budonoadonk" and she immediately took a liking to Chris. They talked about how they both wanted to open a business. The performed then asked Chris to his use his bathroom to change. When he showed her to the bathroom, she pulled him inside and shut the door. After their erotic encounter, the performer suggested to Neil that Chris should be a performer and not an accountant. Chris doubled as an accountant and a porn star. The female performer who discovered Chris was a former Vinegiggle police officer named Regine Freeman, but everybody called her. Chris later left the industry along with Rwanda over contract disputes with Neil. ''The Arch Bishop Trilogy'' Chris was first recruited in ''The Arch Bishop'' after Masked Bastard, Linz Mondello, Mystique B and Denizen Mouse troll Def and get banned from the Ward. He was acquainted with Crazy Brown before he was "crazy". ''Bishops of Bastard Beginnings'' In Beginnings Volumes 1-3, Chris is an established Lord Bishop who oversees all Church transactions, checks and balances. He also assists the Church Attorney, Bishop R Mcgeddon. ''2 Raunch 2 Righteous'' Chris is called upon by fellow Lord Bishop Linz Mondello to help solve a case involving a jewelry thief known as "the plastic bastard". Chris also brings along Rwanda and drives his light blue concept microbus known as Sapphire. ''Bishops of Bastard NSFW'' Chris doubles as a fight promoter for Lady Marge and helps Masked Bastard and Magda get a sample of Def's DNA to determine if he is the father of Sadie's child. he also comforts Sadie during the early stages of labor by rubbing her back and helping her into the shower. Bitch Betta Have My Money Chris carries a walking cane that doubles as a weapon. It is a short-handle staff with a blackjack club on the grip end. Chris the Pimp Gallery Stained-glass-chris.jpg|Stained Glass Depiction of Chris ---- Category:Bishops of Bastard characters